We used to joke at the hospital that the only constant in nursing is change. This is obviously very true in life as well, so why does it still catch us off guard when our worlds change. We spend so much time trying to get comfortable just for things to change again. When we know change is GREAT! We need it! We desire it! Change is what brings forth growth. IF you aren’t growing you aren’t living! I know for sure I did NOT come across the world to be comfortable! That being said let me tell you about my changes...
There is the obvious country change... I’m now in Cambodia. Central America seems so long ago now. Although, I miss it so much that I’m still speaking Spanish, I am LOVING Cambodia!
Some of you may have realized that last month (beginning of Month 4) my team changed... that was a big deal. Talk about comfort zones being messed up, four of the girls I was closest to were no longer living with me everyday. Praying changed, team time changed, I had no one to run to except God... oh wait that was the point! It was AWESOME! Of course I found my comforts and began settling into my new team. Just as I thought I knew where God was going with my new team and why we were put each other. I was asked to be the team leader for another team. WHAT?!? I did not see that coming... however the second they asked I realized it was exactly what God had been preparing me for. God showed me in so many ways that the I needed to concentrate on the men and women that surround me everyday. That E squad and my team were my family, my first priority, my ministry. It made even more sense as I started month 5 leading Team BIG MORALE BOOST... So without further ado here they are...
(From L to R: Christiana, Travis, Lydia, Me, Pat, Liz and Caitlin)
They really are a BIG MORALE BOOST... I love them!!!
I've updated my team on the left so if you want to check out their blogs the links are there.
MINISTRY- This month is AWESOME!!! We are teaching English in exchange for getting to talk about Jesus as much as we want =) Our students are a blessing to hang out with. We are truly loving Cambodia and getting spoiled. While you could easily say this is such a cool place with very happy people. All you have to do is talk with a local or look a little closer at your surroundings and the 'secrets' you don't see will hit you in the face. Two buildings away is a 8 story building that is a brothel 'disgussed' as a individually boothed karaoke bar. At night you can easily pick out the girls for sale. The tragic history of this country. The question "Do you have parents?" is common, because so many people here do not. The fact that 70% of their population is under 30 years old is undeniable when you look around the city. But the hope and determination that so many of the young men and women we are working with gives this entire country so much HOPE and I LOVE it!!!
*** Little side note my final deadline is If you would rapidly approaching. I have less than six weeks to raise $3390. If you would like to donate please do so on the link to the left. For all of you who have donated, prayed and supported me through this journey- I can't thank you enough for everything you are doing in my life and the lives of everyone I have met!
THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH!!!***
Something in Francis Chan’s Crazy Love hit me this morning... I’m beginning to understand what REAL LOVE is when it comes to loving people in this world. I would definitely say I love God the most. Then conviction hit me... is loving God a feeling or am I actually loving God in my actions! I mean I watch someone get healed, a new revelation comes over me, anything wonderful happens, I realize something tough is a learning experience and I proclaim “I LOVE GOD!” But what about when nothing happens? If I proclaim that I love God more than people in this world, do my actions show that. Do I spend intentional time with Him? Do I love on (worship) Him like I should? Am I obedient to Him in our relationship?
The thing is God gave me this crazy new family. In which he is using to grow and challenge me in new amazing ways. After talking about posting my blog for a week, reedited my blog for the millionth time, and then finally posting it yesterday. I pretty sure God thought, “Oh good now that you shared that let’s test you in it.” See the thing is I live with 5 other people 24 hours a day 7 days a week for at least the next 7 months. A lot of things are obvious here... we clearly live like a family, we do everything together, we love and... disagree with each other. The beautiful and difficult thing is we are called to be different. We are called to be World Racers, more importantly we are called to be Christ Followers. This means I am committed to these 5 people! I have to love them enough to confront them, to challenge them, to build them up and their mistakes, as they are committed to doing the same for me. I am so thankful for this time to begin learning what it means to choose love and be committed.
Here’s the thing- EMOTIONS ARE BEAUTIFUL, they are valid, they are important. But as many women know and many men will continued to be perplexed by. There are times when as women our emotions are hormonally out of wack. Also known as PMS... this is so true in my life that my mom gave me a card for one month that says on the front “Only for a PMS day.” I say all this to make the point, that in my growing I have become very aware of my emotions and know these certain days I avoid serious conversations and really I usually will avoid lots of things because I don’t want to act, be crazy... emotional... etc.
This is not an option on the World Race. Avoiding is never an option on the World Race... mostly because you can’t hide. This is terrifyingly beautiful. My gut reaction is to run, but since I can’t I fight through and God teaches me I have exactly enough strength in Him to deal with anything no matter what my hormones or emotions are up to. This morning He tested that.
(Thankfully I have amazing, grace filled family to accompany me to the local coffee shop for some good girl time in the air conditioning! Yeah Buddy! God is GOOD!)
OkI LOVE LOVEand my mind is totally blown once again. I am going to explain what’s up and where my head is at... (This is the ring I wear everyday to remind me loving like God is my mission...awesome find in Nica.)
We took a 60+ hour trip literally around the world from Nicaragua to Thailand, where I am currently. Our last days in Nica 3 new squad leaders were raised up that will lead us throughout the remainder of our trip. This led to major changes in our teams. I now have a completely new team with one girl (Amanda) staying the same. Amongst all the changes with our “families”, continents, and cultures God has remained the one constant. Continually loving on me, showing me truths and refining me. This is where LOVE comes in...
The last 3 months I was surrounded by amazing women of God and amazing contacts who God has used to grow me more than I could have dreamed possible.
I used to think I was good at love, that I loved people well. What I found out is I loved well for the world. I came to realize I loved those that were relatively easy to love, related, etc. I thought love was an emotion. I realized love is not an emotion. Love is a choice. Love is an action.
I realized I could definitely LOVE better.
God calls us (by us I mean Christ followers) to love like Jesus. To go further than Jesus did. I am called to love and trust because God says so not because it feels right or easy.
If we are going to love as we are called to, that means loving people where they are at, not where you think they should be. Not because they are nice, cute, poor, or Christian. Loving REGARDLESS.
I am learning God created me for love. I have endured relationships, situations and experiences that were extremely difficult in my life. Now I see these were blessings. I can now relate to so many and have a better perspective. God allowed me to see how my life could be and believe me this is way better. Walking in the path God has laid out for me is much better than the places I have taken myself.
1 Peter 4:8-11
This is my new life verse. This is how I want to live. This is what I am trying to do. Please pray I have the strength, wisdom, and humility to walk in this.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.”
I just have one last thing to share with you on this. The other morning Chris brought us to some awesome scripture and asked us to read it one verse at a time AND I was going to break it down for you because this is where God once again blew up what I thought I knew about love. However, I realized Chris had a video blog about it. I decided this was a great way to share what we discussed and for you to get to know a little bit of one of the men I am blessed to live with 24/7 and call my brother. Chris does an awesome job suming this up. All I want to add is I pray one day I can love like Paul, to be at a place where I can say I love you so much I would give up Christ for you to know Him. WOW! That is so deep, so intense!
PS He did this video in month 1 ... we actually have 1 week left and we go to Cambodia! Enjoy!
This month I have struggled with not feeling completely like myself. I have learned so much, felt so much, seen so much in the last three months. I wasn’t sure I knew how to process it. Then as we are preparing to leave (yet again), preparing for more possible team changes and kind of just soaking in the beauty of our reality and how God has used us and changed us these last couple months. Then it happened this morning while we witnessing baptisms the pastor said something and I realized what was going on. I don’t recognize myself because I am not the same. I AM different. I died when I was baptized 2 years ago. When I came out of the water I was raised again IN JESUS. The Holy Spirit lives in me and I was willing for it to change me and IT DID!These past three months I’ve prayed for change and God has granted those prayers. I am not the same girl you used to know.
I AM A DAUGHTER OF THE MOST HIGH KING!
I have found my confidence and identity, not in men, not in other’s opinions, but in GOD where it should be. He says I am BEAUTIFUL, I am LOVELY, and I am His daughter.
I pray that you too will be willing to die. Willing to accept a better future. Willing to just say ok God I’m willing for you to prove you are real.
I died. Now I’m living a better life. We always say “I’d kill to...” have that, be able to do this... but are you willing to die?
So my friend Fernando- went from a street kid that grew up with his family behind dumpsters, doing paint thinner, stealing, and doing whatever to get by. He tells me he is 12. (He seems younger.) He is now living with Tony and Nidia. Going to school. He visits his mom once a week. He still struggles with having to have rules and obey them, because he never had this before. He has big dreams though, he wants to open a bakery! He is a wonderful baker. Usually once a week he would bake cookies and sell them to us. THEY ARE SOOO GOOD! One day I helped him bake and that is where the video comes from above. He is truly such a sweet kid that really just needed a chance and some love. Now God is giving him that though Zion’s Gate. It’s amazing to see the changes he made just in the month we were there I can’t wait to see where he’ll be in a year!
Mi Amigo Rony!
Rony is my FAVORITE HONDURAN! My 19 year old brother is an amazing man of God who was once a street kid from Los Pinos. Was addicted to paint thinner for 6 years and is now clean. He LOVES God! He dreams of becoming a pastor. If it’s not about God he doesn’t want to talk about it. =) He is a hard worker. Right now he works for Tony, part of the week he works to help build his family’s house and the rest is a paid job. He has the opportunity to return to school and I pray daily that he will soon take it!
CASSIE and her BEAUTIFUL Family!
Cassie is 25. She just finished the World Race last year and spent the first month of it in Honduras! Honduras was also her favorite! (I love Central America in general but so far Honduras is the place that broke my heart!) During the race God told her she would return to be a mother for a boy she met in Los Pinos- what! So she finished the race and immediately returned to Honduras to see Luis and talk with him. After going home to the States to see her family, support raise and get her stuff. She has moved to Honduras until the Lord says otherwise. Luis now lives with her at Zion’s Gate. Shortly before we arrived in February God had placed it on Cassie’s heart to take in a little girl that was unwanted by her family. Luis’ neighbor had been caring for her but wasn’t able to keep her. After a lot of consideration she now has 2 kids! Luis, an amazing 14 year old that changed her life, and his now little sister who he cherishes, adores and protect, 1 year old, Genesis. It’s funny, her and I have talked about how some people don’t get it, because it isn’t legal in American standards yet. But let me tell you she is so their mother, all you have to do is meet them and it is so plain to see. The love this family shares is beautiful and I LOVE THEM dearly. Cassie is an inspiration, a friend and beautiful woman of God.
Just in case you’d like to hear more about her or support her... here’s a link to her blog...
http://hopeinhonduras.blogspot.com/
Pastor Armando- What a guy!
I have no clue why I don’t have a decent picture of my friend, but I don't- Sorry! Anyways this is a brilliant man of God. He was a successful lawyer, 20 years ago he gave it up to serve the Lord. He is now a pastor at a church and has connections all over the country. Many we were blessed enough to meet and work with. His passion is youth. He has a soccer league that reaches poor communities all over the country. They build soccer field in the communities, give lessons and provide the uniforms. For the kids to participate they have to come to Bible Study during the week. They don’t have to pay ANYTHING. Just participate. It’s beautiful, he has raised up so many community leaders with this program and it is clear when you walk through these dangerous communities that he is not only respected but loved. God is so present... ps also the same man that took us to the dump and preached... He was in the video I posted a couple weeks ago =)
So that’s it for my Honduras Stories... at least for now =) I apologize I’m a little behind schedule but I truly was so immersed when I was there I didn’t even know what to write. LOL and I’m not sure I’m doing it justice but I’ll just end by saying it was beyond amazing! Thank you GOD!!!!!
First I want to thank you all for the prayers and financial support!!! I have exceeded what I needed for my next deadline and now only need $3612 to be fully funded!!! God is so amazing- it is so amazing how much he has provided and in so many ways! Thank you for being a part of that!!! Ok now on to the promised story time...
Rebuilding Herman’s Mom’s House! (Video Below)
My 1st week in Honduras we helped to rebuild Herman’s Mom’s house in Los Pinos. Above is a video my friend Peggy made. Herman is my dear friend, who has gone from being a feared street kid addicted to paint thinner to a clean young man of God that is now a leader in the community where he was once hated and feared. Herman now lives with Tony at Zion’s Gate but still goes to Los Pinos several times a week and is always watching out for his family. He rocks and I love him!!! This house now stands out as a symbol of how things can change. Because this project went so well they are going to go in hopefully once a month and randomly pick people in the community and repaint and repair their homes. They are also getting the community involved. While we were working guys in the neighborhood just randomly came and ask if they could help so we really didn’t do that much work, which is awesome. They are realizing they can make change happen themselves!
Randomly giving my “testimony”
On our way to the dump, we stopped by a very cool school. As it frequently happens on the World Race... we were told we didn’t need to prepare anything, then we got there and we needed to do at least 2 dramas and a testimony... to 10 year olds... I assure you I do not think of my testimony as relatable to 10 year olds very often... and I was wrong. Iy totally tacked! I told them how much God loved them and how big dreams are possible no matter where they come from.
Even the dumps are different.
I’ve been to the dump before back home. Here it smells the same but it looks completely different. Here there are THOUSANDS of people working and living. There is no separation of trash... medical waste is there with the rest. People stand around waiting for the trucks and when they arrive the people swarm and as it’s dumping they instantly start their search for the “good trash.” I found myself standing next to an empty blood donor bag, used syringes, dirty gloves, a decaying dog with vultures... yet a few feet away someone was searching for their lunch! Some people live here all the time. Others come for 3 days at a time and dig through trash all day to find their recyclables and their meals... all while making less than $1 each day.
Chillin’ With My Peeps
So every Saturday morning we would go to a different community with Pastor Armando. This was one of my favorite things. The first time we went I ended hanging out with a bunch of guys... who may or may not have been part of a gang. Either way they were all super high and started smoking weed while I was talking to them... then looked shocked we didn’t leave =) Ha ha. The cool thing is that later when we were playing games and singing worship songs they joined us! Another day we played soccer with a bunch of kids in yet another extremly dangerous community. This time community had one of the highest ratings for women being killed. Yet people are still rising up trying to change their community and with the help of organizations like the ones we were blessed to work with. Their hopes of a brighter future is not only seeming possible, it’s becoming a reality.
STAY TUNED... More Honduras & Nica stories coming in a few days!!! Also PS I'm actually in Nicaragua right now woring with yet another amazing ministry! This is a VERY short month... we leave here in one week to begin a major ransition... possible team changes and lots of traveling eventually ending up in Chiang Mai, Thailand! Month 4 on the HORIZON... WHAT!!!!
To meet my final deadline of $15,500 by 7/1/2012 I need $5812. I have no doubt God will provide. The question is will He use you. =) If so...
You Can Donate:
Online
<-- Over here there’s a link =)
or
Mail in a Check
-Be sure to write the check to ‘Adventures In Missions’ and write my name on the memo line
-The check gets mailed directly to the bank so any notes/messages mailed with it I do not get.
Mail to:
Adventures In Missions
PO Box 534470
Atlanta, GA 30353-4470
FYI- I keep the amount I’ve raised up to date on the support me link on my page (to the Left)... while it does not change automactically, I do change it as the donations post in my AIM account =), so you always know where I stand with my fundraising. Please keep in mind online donations take 2-3 days to process and checks up to 1 week. Occasionally longer. Thanks!
If you have ANY questions/comments I’d love to hear from you!!! Thank you so much for all your support and prayers!!!
Also my Hondurian Story Time should be posted at the end of this week
=) Just a little fun to look forward to =)
Love you guys! Miss you MUCHO!!!
“We travel, initially, to lose ourselves; and we travel, next, to find ourselves. We travel to open our hearts and eyes and learn more about the world than our newspapers will accommodate. We travel to bring what little we can, in our ignorance and knowledge, to those parts of the globe whose riches are differently dispersed. And we travel, in essence, to become young fools again -- to slow time down and get taken in, and fall in love once more.” - from a friend’s Facebook and I really liked it so I decided to share it =)
(Cassie & I @ her Baby Shower) (Ariel, Rony & I on my last day with Rony) (Alan & Luis @ Church bein' Loco!)
WOW! So first I have to apologize I’ve taken so long on updating you on my life but the last month rocked my world. Now I’m at the end of it and trying to think .. Did that just happen?
I was in Tegucigalpa, Honduras at Zion’s Gates Ministries... an AMAZING ministry! Tony and his wife, Nidia (aka Mama) have found a beautiful way to show Christ’s love to street kids who didn’t know they had a different future ahead. Most have been addicted to paint thinner and thought nothing of stealing whatever they needed or wanted to get by. The beautiful thing is now none of that matters. Some have had pasts you couldn’t even dream up, horrible things, but it doesn’t matter because they have been made NEW in Christ!!! How beautiful is that!
I learned this month, that this is a heartbreaking ministry. Some things I saw were intense, what I learned was crazier. God taught me to love like I had never loved before, like He loves. He also broke my heart. I don’t remember the last time I cried that hard. It was beautiful because so much healing and understanding came shining through. Things didn't turn out the way I wanted but my ideas are not as good as God’s and his plan was different and in the end it will be so much more effective.
This was an amazing month of ministry, we were with our entire squad... yep I basically lived with 50 people! I was allowed to do and see amazing things like... visit the city dump, speak life into a bunch of 10 year olds and tell them how anything is possible with God (even traveling the world!), help teach English & Music in a public school, walk in some of the most dangerous communities, talk with men that might normally scare you, be sharpened by amazing Men and Women of God, bake cookies with the kids, visit the dumpster they used to live at and so many other amazing opportunities I could go on for days. I very well may have a second edition of this to tell you some more of these stories =) But this is all for now... Love you guys more than you know thank you for all you do to help me reach these amazing places and people in the world!
***SIDE NOTE... I need still $1400 by April 1st to stay on the field so if you feel inclined to donate please click the link on the link to the left... if this isn't you moment prayers for finances, safety and health are ALWAYS needed!!! Thank you so much!!!!***
(Tony & Nidia) (Me & My FAV Rony) (Beka, Paige & I painting the new sign)
Below is a video my friend Denise did... I'm not in it much but I was with her all month and it shows a lot of what we were blessed to experience! Hope you love it too!
I had the most amazing Valentine’s Day ever in Honduras. Let me tell you the men I am blessed to serve next to are the kind of men you never thought existed. They don’t just talk about it, they walk it out. So here’s the blog I was just able to post =)
(MAKE SURE YOU CHECK OUT THE VIDEO ON THE THE LINK BELOW!!!!)
Today, Valentine’s Day, I felt true Christ like love from my brothers like I’ve never known. These Men of God I am blessed to work along with are true Men. They pour out love and respect on us on a daily basis but Valentine’s Day they set a new standard. They came back from Man Time at the “river” and got cleaned up and put on their church clothes. Then, they cooked and served us dinner, gave us personalized notes and flowers and then the “talent show”. I am also traveling the world with some of the funniest guys I’ve ever met. It started with Pat and Travis singing a Taylor Swift song to each other (HILARIOUS), next was Evan and Jamie singing a very beautiful song for us, each intermission was filled with Joe’s juggling. Then most hilarious rendition of Who’s line is it anyway... with Chris and Josh playing a pregnant lady and her husband freaking out because she is going to give birth in the woods and then they gave birth! LOL while Allan and Carter did the voice overs... truly so HILARIOUS! Then Zach performed his spoken word on behalf of all the men and it was seriously the most beautiful and powerful thing I’ve heard in a long time. I want all to share this with all the women I know and for them to really hear what it’s saying.
This is what love is supposed to look like. This is how Jesus wanted it, this is what He was talking about. And don’t worry we also did stuff for our men throughout the day but I really just wanted to highlight them because it was huge. Some girls had never gotten flowers before or a valentine at all and it was done all some meaningful and beautiful I wish all my friends could’ve experienced it.... so please check out the video Chris and Zach put together of Zach’s spoken word. So I leave you with this link and this question... I you really showing your love to those around you? And not on Valentine’s Day but EVERYDAY... how can you SHOW it to those you love? Make them laugh, leave them a note, sit with them, tell them they’re beautiful... I don’t know the answer but I do know it’s a question we should all ask ourselves. I love you guys so much! Miss you all a lot but I know I’m exactly where I should be.
PS At the end of the night they also baked us sugar cookies with icing on top =) Love my brothers!
Below is the video Chris and Evan made of Zach's Spoken Word... AMAZING!
Baking with Fernando!!
